You're not actually cheating...yet, but you've lost that loving feeling at work. Your body is at work but your soul and mind are off riding horses with a guy who looks remarkably like Brad Pitt. In this case, the guy who looks remarkably like Brad Pitt is "that job over there that looks so much cooler/better/easier than mine." You're having an emotional affair with the job down the hall. Oh sure, you haven't slept with it yet, but it looks awfully cute and you're spending all your free time lusting after it and text messaging about it and planning what you'd do if you got it. You're ignoring your current job which suddenly looks full of flaws and incredibly demanding to boot. The way the photocopier jams up on you on Fridays used to be cute but now it's just plain irritating. Job down the hall's photocopier never jams.
While you're not guilty of outright cheating, you are having an emotional affair. Your heart has turned a corner away from your current job, leaving it swinging in the wind, wondering what it did wrong. The question is, are you having an incredibly cow-like "the grass is always greener" episode, which could be cured by a good old-fashioned Career One-night Stand or is this something more serious?
Try the Career One-night Stand as a level-one cure. In career terminology, the One-night Stand is known as "job shadowing". I know -- it sounds kind of dull or even a bit creepy, which is why I gave it a more exciting label. The Career One-night Stand is every bit as fun and interesting as the romantic one-night stand, except without most of the risks to your safety and schoolgirl reputation.
The idea is to try on different types of work without having to commit to them. You could interview or even follow around for part of a day, say, a tax lawyer (hey, that's some people's idea of a dream job--don't make fun!) or maybe an architect or a fashion magazine editor. See if the work is really as great as you dreamed. You might find that looking from over there back down the hall at your job, you suddenly remember why it seemed so cute when you took it on all those eons ago. Or, you might find the new career love of your life.
Wednesday, July 22, 2009
Thursday, July 16, 2009
When Good Women Go Baggy
You used to be the one coming up with the great ideas. You contributed in meetings, you wrote proposals, you innovated products or practices in ways that made the employer and you look good. But just like the Neil Diamond/Barbara Streisand song goes, “You don’t bring me flowers”, perhaps you have become bored or uninspired with your work. Maybe you’re overtired with other life obligations and you just don’t have the energy for career romance anymore. Whatever the reason, you have started resting comfortably in a place where you feel that you don’t really need to be the star – after all, why not let the up-and-comers dazzle with their flash?
Just like in romance, you will settle into a less intense phase of your work after the initial heady days of courting and honeymoon are over. The trick is to find the balance before you end up looking as if you don’t care enough to put any effort in at all anymore. While you’re probably not staying up late six nights a week coming up with your next amazing idea, it’s important not to give up innovating altogether. Every career needs a little romantic gesture thrown in on a regular basis.
Ways to keep the career romance alive
• Collaborate with other people on projects – because you’re sharing the load, you often get to choose the bits that you find most fun and are skilled at. People may even call you “sparkly” in an awed sort of voice!
• Take time off – sometimes we forget to give ourselves permission to take holiday time or even short unpaid leaves to recharge. You’re fabulous but you’re not irreplaceable and being away for a while may allow you to return with fresh enthusiasm. Just remember to clean your stuff out of the lunchroom fridge before you go…it will look scary by the time you get back.
• Get some rest – it can be difficult with all that you have going on but maybe you need to scale back a bit in some areas so that work can be approached with energy. p.s. energy doesn’t come from a mug, can, bottle or the vending machine. Hint: exercise and more sleep will help you figure out two of the main places energy comes from!
• Recommit to the work – sometimes work slides down our priority list with other things keeping us busy. Revisit your priorities and shuffle things if needed. Approach work with the same enthusiasm as a second honeymoon.
Are you a good woman going a little baggy? Re-commit to yourself and your work. Don’t force your employer to sing, ‘You don’t bring me flowers’. It makes you look bad and will probably be painful to your ears. They are, after all, mostly tone deaf despite playing “background singer no. 2” in the community theatre production of Mamma Mia.
Just like in romance, you will settle into a less intense phase of your work after the initial heady days of courting and honeymoon are over. The trick is to find the balance before you end up looking as if you don’t care enough to put any effort in at all anymore. While you’re probably not staying up late six nights a week coming up with your next amazing idea, it’s important not to give up innovating altogether. Every career needs a little romantic gesture thrown in on a regular basis.
Ways to keep the career romance alive
• Collaborate with other people on projects – because you’re sharing the load, you often get to choose the bits that you find most fun and are skilled at. People may even call you “sparkly” in an awed sort of voice!
• Take time off – sometimes we forget to give ourselves permission to take holiday time or even short unpaid leaves to recharge. You’re fabulous but you’re not irreplaceable and being away for a while may allow you to return with fresh enthusiasm. Just remember to clean your stuff out of the lunchroom fridge before you go…it will look scary by the time you get back.
• Get some rest – it can be difficult with all that you have going on but maybe you need to scale back a bit in some areas so that work can be approached with energy. p.s. energy doesn’t come from a mug, can, bottle or the vending machine. Hint: exercise and more sleep will help you figure out two of the main places energy comes from!
• Recommit to the work – sometimes work slides down our priority list with other things keeping us busy. Revisit your priorities and shuffle things if needed. Approach work with the same enthusiasm as a second honeymoon.
Are you a good woman going a little baggy? Re-commit to yourself and your work. Don’t force your employer to sing, ‘You don’t bring me flowers’. It makes you look bad and will probably be painful to your ears. They are, after all, mostly tone deaf despite playing “background singer no. 2” in the community theatre production of Mamma Mia.
Thursday, July 9, 2009
Would you rather clean than read a career book?
My friends and I always seem to gravitate back to two main topics in our conversations: relationships and careers. How can we get one (hunky hearthrob, great career)? Is it time to leave one (dumpy dingbat, crummy career)? And, how, exactly can we get one of those lives that are portrayed in the movies? You know the ones.
There you are, all young and beautiful and newly despondent because your love has left you for a long-legged protégé but you console yourself by somehow having enough money to travel to a romantic, sunny European country on holiday where you marvel at how wonderful your hair looks in the non-humid, seaside air and you spontaneously buy a vineyard and live out your lifelong fantasy of writing cookbooks. Sigh…if only real-life dream careers tended to work like that.
As a career counsellor, I know there are some great (and, admittedly not-so-great) books out there on how to work towards a great career. The problem is many women would rather clean under their kitchen sinks, than read a book about career management.
I don’t blame them. A glass of red wine (or indeed, tackling the scary, greeblies hidden under the kitchen sink) seems so much more appealing after a hard day at a job you’re not really crazy about. It can be difficult to feel energetic enough to turn to a career book full of self-assessment quizzes and assignments on finding your “passion”.
Here’s a tip I use to make the process of figuring out your career a little less dry: finding a great career is a lot like finding a great romantic relationship. Start by thinking about what’s on your wish list.
Just like in romance, once you might have been happy if you found a cute butt. And while “cute butt” job might have cut it a few years ago, maybe it’s just not enough any more. Allow yourself to dream the dream, even if you can’t pursue it right this minute.
Also, here are some other (admittedly superficial) but fun ways to inspire your career journey:
1) Try picturing your dream job as (fill in Hollywood Heart Throb’s name here). It’s hard to feel uninspired about working towards your career goals if it’s aligned with Hollywood Heart Throb (HHT) isn’t it?
2) Even if a career move isn’t in the cards for you right now, picture your current job as (lesser but still amazingly sexy Hollywood Heart Throb). Pick an even more attractive HHT to symbolize your dream career.
3) Try to re-commit to what’s great about your current job while still taking small, frequent actions to help you work towards your dream job.
4) Stay focused on the fabulousness that is your current or dream career by creating a screensaver, clipping a photo from a magazine or chanting your HTT’s name under your breath while you’re doing the least-favourite part of your present job.
Of course, women think and talk about more than careers and relationships. But approaching your career like a romantic relationship might help you stop sitting on the side of the road to your dream career and start taking some action. All that action leads to great career prospects on the horizon.
And that’s a lot more fun than cleaning under the kitchen sink.
Christine Fader works as a career counsellor and is the author of the new book, Career Cupid: Your Guide to Landing and Loving Your Dream Job (Writing on Stone Press, 2009). Contact her through www.careercupid.com
There you are, all young and beautiful and newly despondent because your love has left you for a long-legged protégé but you console yourself by somehow having enough money to travel to a romantic, sunny European country on holiday where you marvel at how wonderful your hair looks in the non-humid, seaside air and you spontaneously buy a vineyard and live out your lifelong fantasy of writing cookbooks. Sigh…if only real-life dream careers tended to work like that.
As a career counsellor, I know there are some great (and, admittedly not-so-great) books out there on how to work towards a great career. The problem is many women would rather clean under their kitchen sinks, than read a book about career management.
I don’t blame them. A glass of red wine (or indeed, tackling the scary, greeblies hidden under the kitchen sink) seems so much more appealing after a hard day at a job you’re not really crazy about. It can be difficult to feel energetic enough to turn to a career book full of self-assessment quizzes and assignments on finding your “passion”.
Here’s a tip I use to make the process of figuring out your career a little less dry: finding a great career is a lot like finding a great romantic relationship. Start by thinking about what’s on your wish list.
Just like in romance, once you might have been happy if you found a cute butt. And while “cute butt” job might have cut it a few years ago, maybe it’s just not enough any more. Allow yourself to dream the dream, even if you can’t pursue it right this minute.
Also, here are some other (admittedly superficial) but fun ways to inspire your career journey:
1) Try picturing your dream job as (fill in Hollywood Heart Throb’s name here). It’s hard to feel uninspired about working towards your career goals if it’s aligned with Hollywood Heart Throb (HHT) isn’t it?
2) Even if a career move isn’t in the cards for you right now, picture your current job as (lesser but still amazingly sexy Hollywood Heart Throb). Pick an even more attractive HHT to symbolize your dream career.
3) Try to re-commit to what’s great about your current job while still taking small, frequent actions to help you work towards your dream job.
4) Stay focused on the fabulousness that is your current or dream career by creating a screensaver, clipping a photo from a magazine or chanting your HTT’s name under your breath while you’re doing the least-favourite part of your present job.
Of course, women think and talk about more than careers and relationships. But approaching your career like a romantic relationship might help you stop sitting on the side of the road to your dream career and start taking some action. All that action leads to great career prospects on the horizon.
And that’s a lot more fun than cleaning under the kitchen sink.
Christine Fader works as a career counsellor and is the author of the new book, Career Cupid: Your Guide to Landing and Loving Your Dream Job (Writing on Stone Press, 2009). Contact her through www.careercupid.com
Tuesday, June 30, 2009
Interviewing like a REAL Dummy
You’ve probably heard of the Dummies” series of books: “Windows Vista for Dummies”, for example. (I’m still waiting for new ones in the series that might be useful for me including: “Sushi for dummies”, “Recycling for dummies” and “Mother-daughter communication for dummies”… )
Last week, I had an interview and it felt as if I was Exhibit A in a book called, “Interviewing Like A Dummy” (not a real dummies book, by the way!) Have you ever have those moments where your native language suddenly feels as if it’s your first day with new words?
I was at the national conference for the Canadian Association of Career Educators and Employers (CACEE) last week in Vancouver, promoting my book, Career Cupid – Your Guide to Landing and Loving Your Dream Job and doing a conference presentation. On Tuesday, my colleague Cathy Keates (author of, Not for Sale! Why We Need a New Job Search Mindset) and I got a call to interview with a radio station in Kingston during their morning show.
That meant that last Wednesday morning, at the evil hour of 5:15 am we were huddled in our respective pjs in my hotel room, waiting for “the call”. Groggy, we spent a couple of minutes conversing with each other in our gravelly morning voices, then the phone rang and we switched from pjs into professional mode as the radio station morning show interview got underway.
Last week, I had an interview and it felt as if I was Exhibit A in a book called, “Interviewing Like A Dummy” (not a real dummies book, by the way!) Have you ever have those moments where your native language suddenly feels as if it’s your first day with new words?
I was at the national conference for the Canadian Association of Career Educators and Employers (CACEE) last week in Vancouver, promoting my book, Career Cupid – Your Guide to Landing and Loving Your Dream Job and doing a conference presentation. On Tuesday, my colleague Cathy Keates (author of, Not for Sale! Why We Need a New Job Search Mindset) and I got a call to interview with a radio station in Kingston during their morning show.
That meant that last Wednesday morning, at the evil hour of 5:15 am we were huddled in our respective pjs in my hotel room, waiting for “the call”. Groggy, we spent a couple of minutes conversing with each other in our gravelly morning voices, then the phone rang and we switched from pjs into professional mode as the radio station morning show interview got underway.
The hosts, Brian and Shauna from FLY-FM were amazingly bubbly and articulate (admittedly, they had been awake much longer and no doubt had a few lattes under their belts), making us feel right at home as we answered questions about our respective books and career advice. A few, short minutes later, we were finished and hung up, relieved. But as we had a short re-cap of how things went, I seemed to recall only the the bad stuff--the places where I knew I hadn't done a great job of actually answering a question. For example, in my head, the re-cap sounded something like this:
Radio show hosts: “So, Christine, what kind of things can a person do who is unhappy in his/her job and trying to find a new career?”
Me: (a.k.a. Obi-inarticulate-Wan) “Well, really, there are just so many things a person can do…and um…my advice is for people to do those many things…um…as soon as possible because…um…many things are what are most useful for most people to…um…do.”
Yep. I felt as if I was completely inarticulate and not specific at all! Somehow, all the great, vivid information and examples I knew so well, just…evaporated into the Vancouver sunrise.
In my work with clients, we talk a lot about how to navigate these sometimes stressful work conversations. What I was reminded today is that no matter how prepared you think you are, interview questions can leave you feeling as this is your first day speaking a new language. And no matter how experienced you are, interviewing can sometimes feel very unsettling, even to a career coach! Brian and Shauna at the FLY-FM morning show were the consummate professionals, making interviewing (and their interviewees) look incredibly graceful.
Then again, I have a feeling neither of them was wearing pajamas…
Have you had interview moments in which you wish you could press “rewind” and start over? Are you remembering things accurately or just being hard on yourself? Do you have a great strategy for overcoming inopportune brain vacations and nervous jitters? I’d love to hear your stories.
Wishing you “happily ever after” at work,
Christine
(also known as Career Cupid)
Tuesday, March 18, 2008
Tiaras and Pink Cowboy Boots
Growing up, my sister was the girly girl of the family. For as long as I can remember, she was the one who always wanted the ring made out of paste that cost 25 cents at the store. She was the one cutting her dolls’ hair (and frequently, her own) with her paper scissors. I was the sister who hated getting her hair brushed (maybe because our mother was one of those tuggy-pully hair brushing people) and was more likely to be found hiding under the covers with my nose in a book.
Still, something must have happened to me as I grew up. The girly tendencies seem to have blossomed in my 30s. I mean look at me! I have a website with a liberal amount of pink on it, and I have two…count ‘em…TWO pink rooms in my house. (In case you're interested, one is kind of retro 70s flower power pink and the other one is kind of shabby chic pink...oh, you're not interested? But what's the fun of a 'blog if you can't go off on incredibly self-indulgent tangents?)I’m inexplicably drawn to the Pottery Barn Kids store like a moth to a flame…and I have not a single child on which to lavish all the cool stuff from there.
Sure, I wear rubber boots with pink and purple daisies on them and I drive a kid-friendly classic VW Beetle, and I have a doll house sitting on my dining room table (yes, I have the world’s most tolerant husband), but I still have to behave…well…like a quasi grown-up in most of my working life.
In keeping with my following of all things girly and kid-like, I went to Meg Cabot’s website yesterday. She’s the mega-prolific author who wrote such bestsellers as The Princess Diaries. I go there to drool and sigh and dream about being a best-selling author with a house in the Florida Keys, New York and all the other cool places Meggie the Magnificent has houses. When I saw the hot pink cowboy boots and tiara she was sporting in her website picture, I was envious. Imagine getting paid to write goofy stories for 8-12 year old girls! Tiaras and pink cowboy boots are her work uniform.
What’s your ideal work uniform? Do you dream about Armani suits or flip flops or maybe even a sparkly tiara? Maybe we can shop together…
Wednesday, January 16, 2008
Would Grandma Approve?
No pressure.
While I love to write and therefore the idea of a 'blog appeals to me, the career counsellor in me is shouting, "Warning, warning!" and trying to flag me down with a big, scary, neon dose of do-you-really-think-this-is-a-good-idea?
In addition to reading an article in Job Postings magazine the other day titled, "Facebook - Is it hurting your job hunt?", I also recently attended a session about web tools. It was filled with many career educator types who were partly enthusiastic and partly panicked about the prospects of using social networking sites, blogs and web tools "like the young folks do".
Being somewhat of a tech lover myself, I tend to rush headlong into these sort of cool new toys with the kind of abandon I normally reserve for Triple Fudge Brownie Overload ice cream. So although I'd heard the warnings and concerns of my colleagues, I was too busy playing in the proverbial ice cream bowl of technology to take time to reflect much on the implications of my actions. When faced with a room filled with many people who were like the Darth Vader voice of doom on the subject of "new" technology, I was initially dismayed to hear negative words like "invasive", "voyeuristic", and "unprofessional" about my beloved creative technology.
So here's the deal. Just like ice cream (forgive me, one of my worst character flaws is that I will beat a metaphor to death), technology can be sweet and lots of fun to indulge in, but it should also be embraced with some sensibility. I don't think that avoiding it is the way to go, but neither should we be unaware of the public persona we may be creating online. Employers, colleagues and business prospects, not to mention grandmothers, have easy ways of finding out about your activities and escapades.
My advice? Think: Would Grandma approve? Keep tabs on your online alter-ego (the one you create AND the ones created without your knowledge) by doing regular searches of your name. Take time to learn about the privacy settings on social networking sites (and know that the rules are frequently changing) and be aware that not everyone will appreciate you sharing EVERYTHING that goes on in your life.
Finally, when something is written down (even in what appears to be a secure, anything goes environment), treat the window of critism of your thoughts, ideas, spelling, grammar, and martini-soaked photographs as if it is wide open. It likely is.
No pressure.
While I love to write and therefore the idea of a 'blog appeals to me, the career counsellor in me is shouting, "Warning, warning!" and trying to flag me down with a big, scary, neon dose of do-you-really-think-this-is-a-good-idea?
In addition to reading an article in Job Postings magazine the other day titled, "Facebook - Is it hurting your job hunt?", I also recently attended a session about web tools. It was filled with many career educator types who were partly enthusiastic and partly panicked about the prospects of using social networking sites, blogs and web tools "like the young folks do".
Being somewhat of a tech lover myself, I tend to rush headlong into these sort of cool new toys with the kind of abandon I normally reserve for Triple Fudge Brownie Overload ice cream. So although I'd heard the warnings and concerns of my colleagues, I was too busy playing in the proverbial ice cream bowl of technology to take time to reflect much on the implications of my actions. When faced with a room filled with many people who were like the Darth Vader voice of doom on the subject of "new" technology, I was initially dismayed to hear negative words like "invasive", "voyeuristic", and "unprofessional" about my beloved creative technology.
So here's the deal. Just like ice cream (forgive me, one of my worst character flaws is that I will beat a metaphor to death), technology can be sweet and lots of fun to indulge in, but it should also be embraced with some sensibility. I don't think that avoiding it is the way to go, but neither should we be unaware of the public persona we may be creating online. Employers, colleagues and business prospects, not to mention grandmothers, have easy ways of finding out about your activities and escapades.
My advice? Think: Would Grandma approve? Keep tabs on your online alter-ego (the one you create AND the ones created without your knowledge) by doing regular searches of your name. Take time to learn about the privacy settings on social networking sites (and know that the rules are frequently changing) and be aware that not everyone will appreciate you sharing EVERYTHING that goes on in your life.
Finally, when something is written down (even in what appears to be a secure, anything goes environment), treat the window of critism of your thoughts, ideas, spelling, grammar, and martini-soaked photographs as if it is wide open. It likely is.
No pressure.
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