You're not actually cheating...yet, but you've lost that loving feeling at work. Your body is at work but your soul and mind are off riding horses with a guy who looks remarkably like Brad Pitt. In this case, the guy who looks remarkably like Brad Pitt is "that job over there that looks so much cooler/better/easier than mine." You're having an emotional affair with the job down the hall. Oh sure, you haven't slept with it yet, but it looks awfully cute and you're spending all your free time lusting after it and text messaging about it and planning what you'd do if you got it. You're ignoring your current job which suddenly looks full of flaws and incredibly demanding to boot. The way the photocopier jams up on you on Fridays used to be cute but now it's just plain irritating. Job down the hall's photocopier never jams.
While you're not guilty of outright cheating, you are having an emotional affair. Your heart has turned a corner away from your current job, leaving it swinging in the wind, wondering what it did wrong. The question is, are you having an incredibly cow-like "the grass is always greener" episode, which could be cured by a good old-fashioned Career One-night Stand or is this something more serious?
Try the Career One-night Stand as a level-one cure. In career terminology, the One-night Stand is known as "job shadowing". I know -- it sounds kind of dull or even a bit creepy, which is why I gave it a more exciting label. The Career One-night Stand is every bit as fun and interesting as the romantic one-night stand, except without most of the risks to your safety and schoolgirl reputation.
The idea is to try on different types of work without having to commit to them. You could interview or even follow around for part of a day, say, a tax lawyer (hey, that's some people's idea of a dream job--don't make fun!) or maybe an architect or a fashion magazine editor. See if the work is really as great as you dreamed. You might find that looking from over there back down the hall at your job, you suddenly remember why it seemed so cute when you took it on all those eons ago. Or, you might find the new career love of your life.
Wednesday, July 22, 2009
Thursday, July 16, 2009
When Good Women Go Baggy
You used to be the one coming up with the great ideas. You contributed in meetings, you wrote proposals, you innovated products or practices in ways that made the employer and you look good. But just like the Neil Diamond/Barbara Streisand song goes, “You don’t bring me flowers”, perhaps you have become bored or uninspired with your work. Maybe you’re overtired with other life obligations and you just don’t have the energy for career romance anymore. Whatever the reason, you have started resting comfortably in a place where you feel that you don’t really need to be the star – after all, why not let the up-and-comers dazzle with their flash?
Just like in romance, you will settle into a less intense phase of your work after the initial heady days of courting and honeymoon are over. The trick is to find the balance before you end up looking as if you don’t care enough to put any effort in at all anymore. While you’re probably not staying up late six nights a week coming up with your next amazing idea, it’s important not to give up innovating altogether. Every career needs a little romantic gesture thrown in on a regular basis.
Ways to keep the career romance alive
• Collaborate with other people on projects – because you’re sharing the load, you often get to choose the bits that you find most fun and are skilled at. People may even call you “sparkly” in an awed sort of voice!
• Take time off – sometimes we forget to give ourselves permission to take holiday time or even short unpaid leaves to recharge. You’re fabulous but you’re not irreplaceable and being away for a while may allow you to return with fresh enthusiasm. Just remember to clean your stuff out of the lunchroom fridge before you go…it will look scary by the time you get back.
• Get some rest – it can be difficult with all that you have going on but maybe you need to scale back a bit in some areas so that work can be approached with energy. p.s. energy doesn’t come from a mug, can, bottle or the vending machine. Hint: exercise and more sleep will help you figure out two of the main places energy comes from!
• Recommit to the work – sometimes work slides down our priority list with other things keeping us busy. Revisit your priorities and shuffle things if needed. Approach work with the same enthusiasm as a second honeymoon.
Are you a good woman going a little baggy? Re-commit to yourself and your work. Don’t force your employer to sing, ‘You don’t bring me flowers’. It makes you look bad and will probably be painful to your ears. They are, after all, mostly tone deaf despite playing “background singer no. 2” in the community theatre production of Mamma Mia.
Just like in romance, you will settle into a less intense phase of your work after the initial heady days of courting and honeymoon are over. The trick is to find the balance before you end up looking as if you don’t care enough to put any effort in at all anymore. While you’re probably not staying up late six nights a week coming up with your next amazing idea, it’s important not to give up innovating altogether. Every career needs a little romantic gesture thrown in on a regular basis.
Ways to keep the career romance alive
• Collaborate with other people on projects – because you’re sharing the load, you often get to choose the bits that you find most fun and are skilled at. People may even call you “sparkly” in an awed sort of voice!
• Take time off – sometimes we forget to give ourselves permission to take holiday time or even short unpaid leaves to recharge. You’re fabulous but you’re not irreplaceable and being away for a while may allow you to return with fresh enthusiasm. Just remember to clean your stuff out of the lunchroom fridge before you go…it will look scary by the time you get back.
• Get some rest – it can be difficult with all that you have going on but maybe you need to scale back a bit in some areas so that work can be approached with energy. p.s. energy doesn’t come from a mug, can, bottle or the vending machine. Hint: exercise and more sleep will help you figure out two of the main places energy comes from!
• Recommit to the work – sometimes work slides down our priority list with other things keeping us busy. Revisit your priorities and shuffle things if needed. Approach work with the same enthusiasm as a second honeymoon.
Are you a good woman going a little baggy? Re-commit to yourself and your work. Don’t force your employer to sing, ‘You don’t bring me flowers’. It makes you look bad and will probably be painful to your ears. They are, after all, mostly tone deaf despite playing “background singer no. 2” in the community theatre production of Mamma Mia.
Thursday, July 9, 2009
Would you rather clean than read a career book?
My friends and I always seem to gravitate back to two main topics in our conversations: relationships and careers. How can we get one (hunky hearthrob, great career)? Is it time to leave one (dumpy dingbat, crummy career)? And, how, exactly can we get one of those lives that are portrayed in the movies? You know the ones.
There you are, all young and beautiful and newly despondent because your love has left you for a long-legged protégé but you console yourself by somehow having enough money to travel to a romantic, sunny European country on holiday where you marvel at how wonderful your hair looks in the non-humid, seaside air and you spontaneously buy a vineyard and live out your lifelong fantasy of writing cookbooks. Sigh…if only real-life dream careers tended to work like that.
As a career counsellor, I know there are some great (and, admittedly not-so-great) books out there on how to work towards a great career. The problem is many women would rather clean under their kitchen sinks, than read a book about career management.
I don’t blame them. A glass of red wine (or indeed, tackling the scary, greeblies hidden under the kitchen sink) seems so much more appealing after a hard day at a job you’re not really crazy about. It can be difficult to feel energetic enough to turn to a career book full of self-assessment quizzes and assignments on finding your “passion”.
Here’s a tip I use to make the process of figuring out your career a little less dry: finding a great career is a lot like finding a great romantic relationship. Start by thinking about what’s on your wish list.
Just like in romance, once you might have been happy if you found a cute butt. And while “cute butt” job might have cut it a few years ago, maybe it’s just not enough any more. Allow yourself to dream the dream, even if you can’t pursue it right this minute.
Also, here are some other (admittedly superficial) but fun ways to inspire your career journey:
1) Try picturing your dream job as (fill in Hollywood Heart Throb’s name here). It’s hard to feel uninspired about working towards your career goals if it’s aligned with Hollywood Heart Throb (HHT) isn’t it?
2) Even if a career move isn’t in the cards for you right now, picture your current job as (lesser but still amazingly sexy Hollywood Heart Throb). Pick an even more attractive HHT to symbolize your dream career.
3) Try to re-commit to what’s great about your current job while still taking small, frequent actions to help you work towards your dream job.
4) Stay focused on the fabulousness that is your current or dream career by creating a screensaver, clipping a photo from a magazine or chanting your HTT’s name under your breath while you’re doing the least-favourite part of your present job.
Of course, women think and talk about more than careers and relationships. But approaching your career like a romantic relationship might help you stop sitting on the side of the road to your dream career and start taking some action. All that action leads to great career prospects on the horizon.
And that’s a lot more fun than cleaning under the kitchen sink.
Christine Fader works as a career counsellor and is the author of the new book, Career Cupid: Your Guide to Landing and Loving Your Dream Job (Writing on Stone Press, 2009). Contact her through www.careercupid.com
There you are, all young and beautiful and newly despondent because your love has left you for a long-legged protégé but you console yourself by somehow having enough money to travel to a romantic, sunny European country on holiday where you marvel at how wonderful your hair looks in the non-humid, seaside air and you spontaneously buy a vineyard and live out your lifelong fantasy of writing cookbooks. Sigh…if only real-life dream careers tended to work like that.
As a career counsellor, I know there are some great (and, admittedly not-so-great) books out there on how to work towards a great career. The problem is many women would rather clean under their kitchen sinks, than read a book about career management.
I don’t blame them. A glass of red wine (or indeed, tackling the scary, greeblies hidden under the kitchen sink) seems so much more appealing after a hard day at a job you’re not really crazy about. It can be difficult to feel energetic enough to turn to a career book full of self-assessment quizzes and assignments on finding your “passion”.
Here’s a tip I use to make the process of figuring out your career a little less dry: finding a great career is a lot like finding a great romantic relationship. Start by thinking about what’s on your wish list.
Just like in romance, once you might have been happy if you found a cute butt. And while “cute butt” job might have cut it a few years ago, maybe it’s just not enough any more. Allow yourself to dream the dream, even if you can’t pursue it right this minute.
Also, here are some other (admittedly superficial) but fun ways to inspire your career journey:
1) Try picturing your dream job as (fill in Hollywood Heart Throb’s name here). It’s hard to feel uninspired about working towards your career goals if it’s aligned with Hollywood Heart Throb (HHT) isn’t it?
2) Even if a career move isn’t in the cards for you right now, picture your current job as (lesser but still amazingly sexy Hollywood Heart Throb). Pick an even more attractive HHT to symbolize your dream career.
3) Try to re-commit to what’s great about your current job while still taking small, frequent actions to help you work towards your dream job.
4) Stay focused on the fabulousness that is your current or dream career by creating a screensaver, clipping a photo from a magazine or chanting your HTT’s name under your breath while you’re doing the least-favourite part of your present job.
Of course, women think and talk about more than careers and relationships. But approaching your career like a romantic relationship might help you stop sitting on the side of the road to your dream career and start taking some action. All that action leads to great career prospects on the horizon.
And that’s a lot more fun than cleaning under the kitchen sink.
Christine Fader works as a career counsellor and is the author of the new book, Career Cupid: Your Guide to Landing and Loving Your Dream Job (Writing on Stone Press, 2009). Contact her through www.careercupid.com
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