"Don't take the free ride in your own life" - Nickelback

Some days, I listen to that line in the song and think, "yeah, that's me...pushing forward, going outside my comfort zone, making changes...whoo hoo!" and other times I kind of just want to tell the leader singer Chad to please, oh pretty please go and take a flying leap (and not using such nice words).

Tuesday was one of those days. Ol' Chad and his friends Bob (Seger), Melissa (Ethridge), Bono (um...guess he's one of those people with no last name) and others were singing away, keeping time to my pounding (feet) and panting (lungs) and I hated them all. I wanted to tell Melissa that, no, actually, I don't &%*$& run for life--because Tuesday while I was running, I couldn't have cared less about life!

I just wanted to give up. And not just for a minute. For every single minute of 60 minutes. It was so HARD.

I'm deep in the second month of my "back to health" regime and it has struck me more than once that the effort I'm putting forth, the energy it takes to rally my spirit and get my butt out of the chair and into exercise is kind of like the exertion you need to do something about your career. And whew, it's not easy sometimes, is it?!

When I'm not cursing at them for being so gosh darn chipper while I'm busy sweating my hands and everything else off (why do the back of my hands sweat when I run?) and no doubt seconds from dying of something really, really painful and bad (I think it's called melodrama), I really do appreciate my buddies along the road -- Chad, Bob, Melissa, Bono and especially Michael (long-suffering husband and chief cheerleader).

Couldn't do it without them, in fact.

They're there to vent at when you feel ugly and worn down and tired and hopeless (and they keep you from being overly nasty to the other 3-D people in your life!). On better days, they're there to lift your spirits and cheer you up and give you inspiration when you feel like you can fly.

Who are your career change buddies? You need 'em to remind you, among other things:

Don't take the free ride in your own life.

And after you've finished telling them to take a flying leap, you'll get through that horrible day and hopefully, have a day like I had today, when they'll make you smile and believe:

Yes, it is possible.

To flush or not to flush? A major job search question

Ever been on the phone and heard a toilet flushing on the other person's end? What if you were trying to set up an interview to hire that person?

While I was in the stall of a public washroom recently, a person entered the washroom who was carrying on a telephone conversation on her cell phone. Dressed in a black suit and appearing very professional, it quickly became evident from the conversation I was unable to avoid overhearing that she was talking to a prospective employer and setting up an interview date.

Initially, I was a bit bemused--after all, as a career counsellor, I don't tend to recommend that job seekers conduct any conversations with prospective employers in a washroom. Until recently, the reasons for this advice seemed kind of obvious to me...

"Hi employer, nice to hear from you....Oh, you hear a toilet flushing? I'm just in the washroom because y'know...I'm a multi-tasker!

or

"I'm in the washroom because it was a mascara emergency!"

or

"I'm in the washroom because there was nowhere else to talk..."

Really? Not outdoors? Or under a tree? Or down a quiet hallway or stairwell? Or in an empty elevator? Or asking someone if there is a quiet place you can step into? Or beside a busy highway? (Because, seriously, wouldn't you rather be caught out for talking by the side of a busy freeway with trucks roaring by at high speed, than for being in the place where people go #1 and 2?)

There was nowhere else? Um...bad decision.

My reaction turned from amusement to chagrin as I realized my predicament. There I was, effectively trapped in my stall, trying to decide...to flush or not to flush? As I debated, I wondered to myself: how did this stranger's career fate become my responsibility?

It seemed that she looked at me with annoyance after I flushed and came out of the stall to wash my hands yet the woman chose to stay in the washroom to carry on her conversation, so I was faced with another predicament. After washing my hands, the only visible option for drying them was to use a very loud, wall-mounted hand dryer positioned right next to where this person was making the interview arrangements!

I wash thoroughly with soap and water so my hands were really wet--this wasn't simply a case of damp fingertips that I could wipe on my pants--and I had to go directly out to meet (and shake hands with) someone after exiting the washroom.

So, I dilly-dallied. I sighed inwardly at my image in the mirror. I shook my wet hands repeatedly in the sink. I found 2 new wrinkles. I considered whether I should head to the salon for a new style. I counted tiles on the floor.

Still, the conversation continued. What subway stop should she get off at to get to the company? Would she get reimbursed for the travel expenses to the interview?

I finally resorted to retreating back to the stalls and using tissue-paper thin, industrial toilet paper to try to mop up the water from my dripping hands. Squeezing by the woman on the phone as I existed the washroom, I resisted the urge to push the start button on the hand dryer.

But I have to confess, I lay awake last night fantasizing about it.