My book draws the analogy that the process of finding a great job is a lot like the process of finding a great romance. I wrote it that way because I wanted it to be an approachable career book and also because I noticed that my friends and I spent quite a bit of time analyzing and talking about two things: our romantic relationships and our careers. The quest to find happiness often exists in both areas of our lives.
But we are diverse, us women. Some of us don't believe that romance is the way to happiness and even if we do, we're certainly not going to sit around waiting for it to find us--in life or our career.
This weekend, I'm exhibiting at Kingston's First Women's Show, a show that highlights women in business for themselves. I'm really looking forward to meeting these women, all of whom are in various stages of creating a career for themselves by starting their own business.
Entrepreneurship is a road often travelled by women. From Cora's Breakfasts to Loonie Spoons to Sleep Country, women are turning ideas into action all across Canada...and the world.
Who needs to wait for career romance to blossom? Sometimes, happily, we don't. As the Eurythmics sing, "Sisters are doin' it for themselves."
Monday, November 16, 2009
Wednesday, November 4, 2009
Is Career Happiness a Right?
This might seem like a crazy question to ask when I have written a book all about finding your dream job.
If you believe that when you're 24 or even 29 that you deserve a dream job (especially if you did all the so-called "right" things), you're probably feeling a bit disillusioned. You might be angry or mystified about why your dream job is not happening NOW please and thank you. You're working hard, so what gives??
In my book, I use the analogy that finding a dream career is a lot like the process of finding a dream relationship. So perhaps you have anticipated my question: did you find true love with your first date or your second or your third? Likely--and probably thankfully in most cases--not.
Just like in romance, most of us have to date some jobs with bad taste in music and tacky cars and annoying habits before we find one we want to spend some serious time with. But I would encourage you to stop thinking of this career "dating" that you're doing as a "waste of time" or not a "real" career (even if your parents keep asking you what you're doing with your life -- after all they weren't so keen on all those first dates you brought home at first either, but they were shaping up to be "real" romances weren't they?)
You may be unhappy sometimes. A late 20s friend of mine tells the disillusioned new grads she knows, "Oh, you're unhappy at work? This is just the workplace 'crushing your spirit'." She feels it is a natural part of the evolution into work. But is it? Or is it a result of our new expectations that if we do X or Y, we all deserve to do great work pretty quickly out of the gate?
May I be so bold as to ask: what have you done to deserve "more than this?" What can you actually DO that is of value to an employer? Finding great work is not all about what you want and deserve and the potentially frustrating part is this...sometimes getting something of value to offer takes time. There's just no getting around it. Just like in romance, you might be smiling your face off, wearing kicky new boots, holding your diploma high, sending out great vibes, full of the latest scintillating conversation tidbits and positioning yourself in the produce aisle in case a single person happens to saunter by and working harder at it than anyone else around...and it still might not get you what you want.
We're an impatient lot nowadays. We want our stuff, our happiness, our perfect life NOW. But just like finding a great relationship, finding a great career takes patience, lots of positive action on your part (and a little serendipity) and sometimes facing the fact that there will indeed be some jobs you will wish you hadn't slept with on the first date. But don't write them off. They can be key ingredients in your very own path to a great career.
All those bad dates and not-so-sexy jobs? They help you weed out the riff-raff and gain experience. They help you know yourself better and help you narrow down what you are really looking for (or not looking for). Most of us don't start out knowing. And even if we do, what we know and want at 24 has likely changed substantially by 34 and likely changed substantially again by 45 and likely changed again by...well, you get the idea. We are evolving constantly and so too, our career aspirations. Those so-called "bad date" jobs are actually really helpful to you.
Be clear about what you're looking for 'cos no one else will figure it out for you (cue the unwieldy hair cut you let your hairstylist talk you into). Take charge of your career by doing your part. Keep dating and put up with a bit of waiting. Value ALL your work (even if it's not your favourite) because it is all truly working for you.
The truth is, there may always be some bad dates in your career. As you evolve and compromise around your life events, you may need to give yourself a pep talk, not just in your 20s but in your 30s and 40s and 50s. Perfect work may not exist for everyone. Perfect for you at this time is a much more attainable and satisfying goal.
Finding a dream career is usually a process, not a destination that you can get to on an express train. And just like trains and dream relationships, dream careers tend to arrive faster when you stop obsessing about why they aren't here yet. Instead, take action on the things you can control -- have a party on the platform, count the number of subway tiles on the walls, pick up the local lingo, offer bystanders your skills and smile but be prepared to also embrace a little waiting.
You'll be ready when your train comes in.
If you believe that when you're 24 or even 29 that you deserve a dream job (especially if you did all the so-called "right" things), you're probably feeling a bit disillusioned. You might be angry or mystified about why your dream job is not happening NOW please and thank you. You're working hard, so what gives??
In my book, I use the analogy that finding a dream career is a lot like the process of finding a dream relationship. So perhaps you have anticipated my question: did you find true love with your first date or your second or your third? Likely--and probably thankfully in most cases--not.
Just like in romance, most of us have to date some jobs with bad taste in music and tacky cars and annoying habits before we find one we want to spend some serious time with. But I would encourage you to stop thinking of this career "dating" that you're doing as a "waste of time" or not a "real" career (even if your parents keep asking you what you're doing with your life -- after all they weren't so keen on all those first dates you brought home at first either, but they were shaping up to be "real" romances weren't they?)
You may be unhappy sometimes. A late 20s friend of mine tells the disillusioned new grads she knows, "Oh, you're unhappy at work? This is just the workplace 'crushing your spirit'." She feels it is a natural part of the evolution into work. But is it? Or is it a result of our new expectations that if we do X or Y, we all deserve to do great work pretty quickly out of the gate?
May I be so bold as to ask: what have you done to deserve "more than this?" What can you actually DO that is of value to an employer? Finding great work is not all about what you want and deserve and the potentially frustrating part is this...sometimes getting something of value to offer takes time. There's just no getting around it. Just like in romance, you might be smiling your face off, wearing kicky new boots, holding your diploma high, sending out great vibes, full of the latest scintillating conversation tidbits and positioning yourself in the produce aisle in case a single person happens to saunter by and working harder at it than anyone else around...and it still might not get you what you want.
We're an impatient lot nowadays. We want our stuff, our happiness, our perfect life NOW. But just like finding a great relationship, finding a great career takes patience, lots of positive action on your part (and a little serendipity) and sometimes facing the fact that there will indeed be some jobs you will wish you hadn't slept with on the first date. But don't write them off. They can be key ingredients in your very own path to a great career.
All those bad dates and not-so-sexy jobs? They help you weed out the riff-raff and gain experience. They help you know yourself better and help you narrow down what you are really looking for (or not looking for). Most of us don't start out knowing. And even if we do, what we know and want at 24 has likely changed substantially by 34 and likely changed substantially again by 45 and likely changed again by...well, you get the idea. We are evolving constantly and so too, our career aspirations. Those so-called "bad date" jobs are actually really helpful to you.
Be clear about what you're looking for 'cos no one else will figure it out for you (cue the unwieldy hair cut you let your hairstylist talk you into). Take charge of your career by doing your part. Keep dating and put up with a bit of waiting. Value ALL your work (even if it's not your favourite) because it is all truly working for you.
The truth is, there may always be some bad dates in your career. As you evolve and compromise around your life events, you may need to give yourself a pep talk, not just in your 20s but in your 30s and 40s and 50s. Perfect work may not exist for everyone. Perfect for you at this time is a much more attainable and satisfying goal.
Finding a dream career is usually a process, not a destination that you can get to on an express train. And just like trains and dream relationships, dream careers tend to arrive faster when you stop obsessing about why they aren't here yet. Instead, take action on the things you can control -- have a party on the platform, count the number of subway tiles on the walls, pick up the local lingo, offer bystanders your skills and smile but be prepared to also embrace a little waiting.
You'll be ready when your train comes in.
Tuesday, November 3, 2009
The leaves are gone
After a very blustery day on Saturday indeed, the rainbow of fall colours has landed in our forlorn-looking winterized swimming pool and the trees are creaky and bare, shivering in the cool November wind. Sort of like me.
I have that not-yet-settled-into-the-cold-season, odd Ontario November wardrobe that consists of jacket (on second thought, too light for today's brisk wind out of the north) and scarf (how could I have forgotten that this one makes me so itchy?) and shoes (I am NOT wearing boots before December if I can help it!) that are inadequate for the odd patch of mud I've encountered on my travels around town.
Daylight savings ended on the weekend and on the dot of 6:03 pm, my body is now telling me it's time for bed. "To bed with you!" my body cries. "It's dark," it whines in an obnoxious and somehow pathetically yearning way at 6:14 pm. "Why are you ignoring me?" my body cries at 6:27 pm. "To bed! What's so difficult to understand?" And still I somehow resist. Barely.
I'm possessed with a hibernation instinct not normally attributed to humans, I think. But I can't indulge the "pathological need for sleep" that the sleep doctor declared me with. He was amused that I slept for 13 hours in his lab. A world record almost and in summer, the season of light no less! So excuse me body but I have a career that requires that I set an alarm every night. A career that is currently composed of several jobs. And not quiet, unprovocative jobs but loud, rather demanding jobs. Promotions to get on with. Websites to re-structure. Clients to counsel. Blogs to write. Books to develop from ideas into words.
But, but, but...I'd rather sleep for 12 or 13 hours a day. What could be better than yummy, delicious, cozy micro-fibre sheets wrapped around me sleep? No, I don't have time for that whole grown-up career thing at this time of year.
And on top of all that, the lighting in the bathroom at work has begun to betray me again. It's an annual event - a shift in the space-time continuum that somehow results in fluorescent bathroom lighting illuminating a pasty pallor and frizzy hair that cannot possibly belong to moi. I, career woman/rip van writer girl, feel the almighty urge to runs screaming from the terror and travel down that intimidating yet somehow enticing aisle at the drug store that contains the cream for "mature women's skin" and "anti-everything serum".
Good thing I'm having a great time with my career. When I'm awake.
ZZzzzzzzzzz. Let me know when it's Spring.
I have that not-yet-settled-into-the-cold-season, odd Ontario November wardrobe that consists of jacket (on second thought, too light for today's brisk wind out of the north) and scarf (how could I have forgotten that this one makes me so itchy?) and shoes (I am NOT wearing boots before December if I can help it!) that are inadequate for the odd patch of mud I've encountered on my travels around town.
Daylight savings ended on the weekend and on the dot of 6:03 pm, my body is now telling me it's time for bed. "To bed with you!" my body cries. "It's dark," it whines in an obnoxious and somehow pathetically yearning way at 6:14 pm. "Why are you ignoring me?" my body cries at 6:27 pm. "To bed! What's so difficult to understand?" And still I somehow resist. Barely.
I'm possessed with a hibernation instinct not normally attributed to humans, I think. But I can't indulge the "pathological need for sleep" that the sleep doctor declared me with. He was amused that I slept for 13 hours in his lab. A world record almost and in summer, the season of light no less! So excuse me body but I have a career that requires that I set an alarm every night. A career that is currently composed of several jobs. And not quiet, unprovocative jobs but loud, rather demanding jobs. Promotions to get on with. Websites to re-structure. Clients to counsel. Blogs to write. Books to develop from ideas into words.
But, but, but...I'd rather sleep for 12 or 13 hours a day. What could be better than yummy, delicious, cozy micro-fibre sheets wrapped around me sleep? No, I don't have time for that whole grown-up career thing at this time of year.
And on top of all that, the lighting in the bathroom at work has begun to betray me again. It's an annual event - a shift in the space-time continuum that somehow results in fluorescent bathroom lighting illuminating a pasty pallor and frizzy hair that cannot possibly belong to moi. I, career woman/rip van writer girl, feel the almighty urge to runs screaming from the terror and travel down that intimidating yet somehow enticing aisle at the drug store that contains the cream for "mature women's skin" and "anti-everything serum".
Good thing I'm having a great time with my career. When I'm awake.
ZZzzzzzzzzz. Let me know when it's Spring.
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