Monday, October 12, 2009

Would you like a side of IV antibiotics with that career?

The past ten days, I've been dealing with a relatively minor but annoying illness that has required me to spend hours every day at the hospital receiving IV antibiotics. Some days it's eaten up five or six or seven hours. Other days a blessed two.

Between waiting rooms, hanging around for test results and getting medication, needless to say, I've spent a lot of hours waiting this week...and not always patiently. As I spent my hours people-watching, eavesdropping on amusing conversations, keeping fellow patients company, snuggling into my husband's shoulder or occasionally managing to read a few lines from a book, it got me thinking about what we do with the times when no matter how pro-active and resourceful we are, we simply aren't in control of what's happening in our lives and in our careers.

Even though I wasn't desperately ill in relative terms, I had waves of feeling quite sorry for myself. I didn't want to be sitting there in the hospital for hours at at time. I had things to do, people to see, places to go. There was no internet, no phone service, no "business as usual". I carried my writing pad and my dictaphone but I couldn't seem to make use of them. I was forced to pause. Against my will. And while I was pausing, the beds were uncomfortable! (Apparently, I am the proverbial Princess and the Pea in a hospital bed.)

Sometimes, no matter how hard we are working on our dreams, taking baby steps, being brave, staying positive, contributing...we get sidelined for a while. And when that happens, it sure can feel frustrating. We might not like where we are. We might feel frustrated or deflated or unmotivated. We might even start to think, "Will I ever make it out of here?"

I think that in every life and career, a little forced hospitalization to get IV antibiotics for ten days must fall. Erm...yeah. It's not always a smooth ride to "the top" (whatever your "top" happens to be). Along the way, we may feel stalled in the career trajectory we had been expecting. We may even think, "Why me? I work hard. I don't deserve the bad hand I've been dealt."

Don't lose heart. Instead, try to enjoy the pitstop. People watch. Eavesdrop on amusing conversations. Keep fellow travellers company. Snuggle into a loved-one's shoulder. You might just find yourself experiencing something new and interesting or feeling grateful for things you had previously taken for granted.

And if you allow yourself a moment or two to indulge in pouting to yourself about the bad mattress on the hospital bed, I understand and I promise: I won't tell anyone. This too is what career is sometimes about.

Hang in there.